Crossroads.

I am so pregnant. Tomorrow, I am on my eighth month. I'm not complaining. In fact, I have been feeling guilty. I feel that I haven't been giving this pregnancy the focus it deserves. Aside from being overweight since the beginning of this pregnancy, I commute more than when I was pregnant with A. I drink coffee. I eat some things borderline "bawal." And lately, I have been stressed by a number of factors. Well, one more than others. And that is what I wish to write about and share to you  today.

The year ushered in so many blessings. Among those, a nomination to one of the first-level courts in the Metro. Since April last year, I have been at a crossroads. Deciding to act upon the advice of several people, I took the plunge and applied for judgeship positions. Thankfully, I was recommended by a "kuya" and mentor, and all my reference persons have given their permission to add their names to the list I provided.

December 2015, I was interviewed (oral recitation by none other than THE retired SC Justice Sandoval-Gutierrez) and I took the psychological exams. Truth be told, I was more nervous about the psychological examinations. I mean, how do you even know you are psychologically fit for any job, anyway? :)

And yesterday evening, I learned I am among seven candidates shortlisted for the President to choose from for one of the posts.

Now, about the crossroads.

I am blessed to have a stable job. It pays well, and allows me to have a work-life balance. I have a boss who is very reasonable and who has taught me quite a lot about administrative law in the past 3 years. I have had people come up to me to ask why in the world I choose to apply for a judgeship position when they know/assume that my current job is a dream for most.

Believe me, I have thought about it. I still do. My husband and I have talked about this countless times from the time I decided to apply... and until today. I assume, we will continue to talk about it until I get that appointment (fingers crossed, CLAIMING IT with full faith in the Lord).

A comfortable few more years await me at the road I am currently on. It will afford me at least three more years to raise my kids and enjoy the work-life balance I am currently blessed with. I am financially secure. However, it does not provide the opportunity to practice my profession at a higher level. Neither does it offer professional growth.

Meanwhile, I am staring at another road. this one is an uphill climb. It is riddled with challenges that can only be tackled by the best and the brightest legal minds. It is a scary road to be on as it is lined with cliffs on both sides. One false step towards temptation and all my hard work in keeping my name clean all these years would literally crumble. It will also hold me criminally liable. But the hold this road has on me lies not just at the very end of it, but on every step of this journey towards it. It is the quest for the degree of excellence it exacts from this traveler that invigorates my very core. It is a challenge --a thirst, I feel I have to quench in my lifetime. Yes, I want this. To be utterly selfish would be me choosing this road without regard for the family I seek to nurture.

I find solace that God provides. I take comfort in the fact that He will place me where I can best serve His Will. And in my heart, I know what I want. I submit to His Divine Wisdom. I know, He has already given it to me.

I know, at the end of the day, I shall be standing alone at that crossroads. It will be me who will take that step. And when I make that step, I will be guided by Him, by my family, and by the people I hold dear.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.